What most mothers won't tell about motherhood

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1. Everyone almost says that it is painful to go in labor yet all of those pain fade once you see your baby.

My reality: I delivered through Cesarian Section. I did not feel anything but I can barely move. I did not see my baby for like a day after a gave birth. While it was warming to see my baby after, really, it did not make me able to remove all my body ache.

2. Majority of mothers say that having a baby is pure joy.

My reality: NO. NO. NO. I am not saying that I was not happy about having Sab. I am, but having a baby does not exactly translate to "pure joy". They CRY. A LOT. To the point that you get weak from not having any sleep, from not having time to eat, from not having to see and hear anything besides the echo of her crying face. She was a cry baby until she was 4-months old. We made her sleep in our chests so that we could get sleep as well. We were not able to take her (or ourselves) to the mall as she cried so much inside the car (or any dark place). We slept with the lights open. On her 5th month though, she started sleeping in the bed, and on her 6th, she slept straight through the night :)

3. Everyone is an advocate of breastfeeding and if you don't breastfeed, your a bad mother!

My reality: Breastfeeding was a pain for me - not that it was painful to make her suck my breast - it required me to be awake even on time when I could be asleep. First, it does not fill her compare to formula. Second, even on times during the day where someone else could take her, I would still need to be awake to breastfeed her. True, breast milk is best for baby. It is also cheaper than formula. But after a loooooooonnnngggg night, all I really wanted then was to sleep. I did not even bother eating. I just really wanted to sleep.

Having a baby has its highs and lows. There are a lot of joy, but it also requires a lot of sacrifices. It is not easy. Most mothers conceal their pain as they are afraid to be labeled as a "bad mother". For me, being true is not being bad. For me, over caring is bad. Neglecting yourself is bad.